God told me to plant a garden.
Not a literal one, although I'm debating starting that kind too. Sunflowers that stretch taller than me -- I'd like to have that. It's not my hands that are stained with dirt, instead it's my soul, which Jesus kindly whispered to pay attention to.
It was a nice thought, to plant a garden. So I told Him, "Okay."
The problem with creating a garden is finding understanding that what you will be creating will not be immediate. I don't know exactly how the whole process works, but I do know gardens take time and tending and watering and waiting. You don't see much progress for awhile, do you? You just plant your bulbs, dust your hands, offer a little water each day, and wait, hoping that something is forming deep within the ground below you.
I did the same thing with my soul. I got real quiet -- just me and Jesus and my innermost parts which were feeling shaky and untrusting. I prayed for faithfulness and patience, two things that are not my forte, and I planted my bulbs. I could picture them rooting inside of me. Red and orange tulips, I liked to think.
One thing I'm realizing: if you're going to pray for patience and faithfulness, God is most certainly going to provide you opportunities to grow those bulbs.
The past month and a half I have felt like my life has been on hold. Like I'm waiting for something, for anything really, to just click into place and get things moving. In the beginning of my waiting, I didn't mind. I thought, "I am being such a faithful, patient servant. Jesus is working in me so clearly." And then my waiting felt like it was stretching out much too long, and much too slowly, and soon I was done with waiting. But I was praying for patience and faithfulness -- so why would anything come quickly when what I deeply wanted was to learn how to wait?
One night, when I was significantly tired of waiting for something to happen in my life, I told Jesus how I was feeling. "You say You have good plans for me, Jesus? If this is true, tell me, where are these good and lovely plans and why aren't they happening yet?"