I haven't posted on here nearly as much as I want to. You know why? Fear.
Of course. (I can hear you chuckling over there.)
I didn't realize when The Year Of No Fear became a thing that ALL of my fears would resurface. Suddenly I feared putting any words on the Internet. Fear of what you might think of me? Perhaps.
I told God the other day that I thought I was the wrong person for this.
"I'm too scared," I told Him. "Why couldn't you have chosen someone who knows what they're doing? Who doesn't constantly feel inadequate? Who plans ahead, and will actually write things on the blog instead of ignoring it?"
I told this to my friend too, and she said this: "Maybe this is how you're supposed to feel. Scared, a little hesitant, not quite sure what you're supposed to do. Maybe your inadequacy is exactly where you're supposed to be."
She's right, of course. When I feel like I "have it all together", I hardly turn to Jesus. I feel confident and on top of the world, not needing Him or anyone.
And yet when I'm frightened and uneasy, the only strength I have to draw from is His. And He is good. And He is greater than all of my fears, and no fear is too great or too measly to bring in front of Him.
Maybe today you feel overwhelmed and afraid and inadequate. But maybe that's where you're supposed to be, as a reminder that you don't need to do this alone, because there is a good, grace-filled God that wants to do this all with you.