day twenty-two: may I not let that define me


A customer told me yesterday she believes I'll be working at Starbucks for the rest of my life. She told me she could say this because her daughter is also a barista. Let me just say that a) I don't really think that fact validates her choice of words to me and b) I felt awful for her daughter. I simultaneously almost said something extremely rude and almost punched her, but I ended up not doing either. I'm still trying to decide why. Maybe it's because of my unbelievable self control (it's not) or maybe it's because I was literally in shock (that's more like it).

Remember that you are more post? Where I decided not to let other peoples opinions of me get me down? Well IT DIDN'T LAST VERY LONG.

I so often think that if I write a blog post or tell someone an idea or remind myself of something, that it will click in my brain and it will stay there forever. That is sadly and unfortunately false.

I know even after these thirty-one days are done, I'll still have to tell myself: "You are enough, you are significant, you are loved, you are forgivable." I know this because even during this series I have been having to tell myself these things.

Even during this series I have forgotten.

It's so easy for people's words to define us, even momentarily. I have allowed this woman's words --  a lady I probably will never see again -- to define me. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. I wondered for a long time if she's right, if this is all I'll ever amount to.

And it is here in which lies my choice.

I may choose to accept her words, her fate for my life. I may choose to believe her. I may choose to settle for her disbelief in me, to stop striving for more, for books and words and art and dreams.

Or I can choose enough. I can choose more. I can choose to use these words as fuel and empowerment and a reason to try harder.

I'm back to the choice of choosing enough, you see. And it's not easy. It's really freaking hard, if we're being honest. But may I choose enough today and may I not allow the opinions of others to define me.

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This is day twenty-two. You can find the rest of this series right here.

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