I love reading people's year in reviews, what they've garnered from the past three hundred and sixty five days. They often speak of hope for the upcoming year, resolutions they'll try and keep, goals they pray they'll attain. I have goals, sure. Lofty, perhaps. Some of them I'm even dreading, which in itself may not be a good thing. I have wishes, and dreams, and hopes--a lot of hopes. Desires, ambitions, and I bet you do too. But more than this, what I have most right now is tiredness. I wish I could take 2015 off, go to a beach and lay on the sand for a long time. Not a bad tiredness, or a sad tiredness, just...a tiredness.
I see people talking about their hopes for this upcoming year, the word they are claiming, running full throttle, guns blazing, passionate and fiery into this New Year, and I read what they say and I am desperately happy for them. And slightly dizzy at the thought.
I wasn't going to talk about this last year. I thought if I ignored what made up the days of 2014, perhaps moving on would come quicker. But I am not ignorant nor naive when it comes to this. Because though this year was hard, it was good. And though I don't want to talk about it all the time, moving on doesn't mean forgetting. Moving on is good and healthy and important. It doesn't mean I'll forget, I just may view things from a different lens, a further away sort of lens.
I get anxious I'll forget--and sure, there are some things I want to--but others I hope I remember. I hope I remember empathy, I hope I remember excitement. I hope I remember sensitivity is beautiful not weak, and family is stronger together than apart.
I was going to write some things I learned this year, but perhaps I'll do that tomorrow. Or maybe next week after 2015 has already been ushered in. For today, I'll hope in Hope. And keep on hoping..