Let me tell you how badly we need grace. I keep realizing this, over again. It seems to hit me afresh everyday. I've been trying to follow along with SheReadsTruth, reading their 365 day Scripture plan. It's a great plan--the best one I've found, in my opinion. It mixes Old Testament and New, a mix of God as Creator and the miracles of Jesus.
It seems my whole life I've separated them. You know? God: the Old Testament made up of wrath and anger, and Jesus: the New Testament, made up of mercy and compassion. That's where the line was drawn, in my head. There was a distinct difference between God and Jesus. But this January I've been reading a few chapters of Genesis, and then a chapter of John, and I've realized how much I've missed by separating the two.
I liked New Testament Jesus. I usually camp there--somewhere in between Matthew and James--not willing to read the Old Testament stories. Because I didn't understand that God, so why even bother going there? I wanted to stay comfortable, in the midst of the cross, a place where compassion overflowed and mercy fell like rain. I wanted to see miracles.
But then I began from the beginning. It's incredible what happens when you read the whole story, not just chunks, not just plopping a finger down somewhere in the middle. A novel would hardly make sense that way, and yet this is what I have done my whole life.
I ignored Old Testament God because I didn't understand Him. I preferred Jesus.
And yet, God created. He wove people and stories and mistakes and grace and redemption together in a marvellous and God-ordained way. I read about imperfect humans, and the grace God extended to them everyday.
I breathe, praying for that same grace to intersect in my life. But I know it already has.
This is what I've seen the past twenty-ish days while I've been reading. (I've missed some, I'll admit, but again, grace.) The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Aliza and the God of you, is a God of utmost grace. And so much more. I still don't understand Him, but I'm thinking that's okay. Because I'm an imperfect human, and He's not, because I need grace and He's full of it.
I need it so badly.
And I'll bet my bottom dollar, you do too.